It’s Nice To See Jared Lorenzen Is Still Keepin’ It Real…Real Big

Back in the day when the Georgia Bulldogs played the Kentucky Wildcats—post Tim couch, pre Andre Woodson—they had the displeasure of going up against Jared Lorenzen (AKA, pillsbury throwboy and the round mound of touchdown). He had a big arm, attached to a big body, and most Georgia players found his cushy mid-section was quite the bouncy house as they often just ricocheted right off him.

Well, Lorenzen is still finding an avenue for his God-given talents as a member of the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the Ultimate Indoor Football League (UIFL), and while he’s not nearly as dangerous now as he was back when he played at the University of Kentucky, he’s certainly keeping that figure right where he wants it.

Here’s a shot of Mr. Lorenzen as he looks today at a svelte 6’5″, 290 (photo courtesy of

Jared should seriously consider moving his talents to the offensive line. Wow…that’s one biiiiigggggg dude.

Keep doin’ your thang, Jared—nobody does it better.

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I am not a 'journalist' by trade, nor do I present myself as such. I am a wife, mother, and passionate Georgia Bulldog fan. That's it. I write. You read.